The stars are the street lights of eternity...

 

 

Tomorrow is the big day, Little One.

Well, technically today is the big day, considering it's almost one AM and I haven't event entertained the notion of sleep yet.

Tomorrow is our first home study visit.

Earlier tonight, I took a step outside in between cleaning to get something left behind in the car. While I was walking outside, I took a minute to look up, and the view of the night sky took my breath away. You would think after all the years I've been on this planet that the sky would lose its luster, but it never does.  Tonight is a beautifully clear night, the spring air is warm with a slight chill that makes you feel ultimately alive when you breathe it in. The sky tonight is such a deep hue it almost looks purple, and the stars poke through and shine like tiny diamonds that spilled all over the night. Tonight is the kind of night dreams are made of, and my dreams are made of you.

In this moment I realized with  great clarity, these stars that  illuminate the sky are actually millions of miles away. They are an unfathomable distance away from us on earth, and yet we can physically see them.

You are my star, Lo. The thought of you being in my arms seems millions of miles away right now, but I can see it. You are the star that gives me hope. In the darkest of night skies, you shine on like a diamond.

In our essence, we are all star dust. As Dr. Carl Sagan said, we're nothing but the same elements of the stars- we are ourselves "star stuff". At our core we're a beautiful blend of nitrogen and oxygen, atoms waiting to be released into the world to start our journey. It is such a hopeful and beautiful thing to think that millions of miles away, your atoms might be out there. The stars might be aligning to get you home to us. And that is just the beginning of life, Little One. Atoms exploding into action is only the start of this amazing journey.

I never want you to forget that, what a beautiful miracle it is that you're a part of this world. It's a miracle to be alive every single day, to be that atom that makes it to the earth and sparks life where there was none before. Whenever you have a rough day, take a step back and look at the sky. Remember that we're all lucky stars in this vast universe.

Tonight is a night of hope, a night full of beautiful stars. I pray that many more nights filled with this amount of hope will follow in the months or years ahead.

As for tomorrow, I can guarantee you I will be a nutcase. But I promise whenever I feel nervous about this process, I will take a step back and look to the sky. By looking at the beauty that is nature and science and all things miraculous, I will remember that you are out there, waiting for your stardust to settle.

Always your guiding star with love,

Mom